Thursday, April 17, 2014

Loving My Ex

What is it about my ex boyfriend that makes me still love him?

I heard that little miss sunshine song, "we're gonna make it" and I instantly became nostalgic for him. We watched that movie together when it first came out. What remains of him are these feelings. I had a sense of absolute freedom when we dated. We were young, beautiful (as young people in naive love often are so pure and undefined) and careless. I want that back. That time. That era. Being with him rekindles those feelings of being young and so free. We were un-tethered to the world and it's harsh realm of responsibilities.

I loved his calm. I loved how he looked at me and told me I was beautiful. I loved how when we were together we couldn't get enough of each other. We were close and we tried to drink each other up.
Still, he was so hidden from me in many ways. He hid his feeling about his family. He hid how he really felt about me. And he hid how he felt about his closest friendships.

It's really what he represents not who he is that makes me love him.

No comments:

Post a Comment